


One More Time

by strawberryriver



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 07:26:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5488724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryriver/pseuds/strawberryriver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo was good at keeping secrets. </p><p>At least, he thought he was good at keeping secrets. </p><p>--------</p><p>A small superman-au based drabble for Eicinic!</p>
            </blockquote>





	One More Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eicinic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eicinic/gifts).



Kuroo was good at keeping secrets. 

At least, he thought he was good at keeping secrets. 

He’d known Kenma for years, since childhood, and by now he knew better than to think he was able to keep anything from Kenma. But, they never talked about it so he liked to pretend it was still a secret. Kenma never asked questions when he helped Kuroo change his bandages, never corrected Kuroo when he said the reason he got tattoos was because he loved ink– not to cover up his scars. He’d even managed to convince Kenma to get matching tattoos. Braids around their wrists, like a permanent friendship bracelet. Kenma called him lame when he said it out loud, but he went through with it anyway, and that had to mean something. 

Kuroo needed them both to pretend so when he woke up in a cold sweat, hands trembling from his memories resurfacing as nightmares, he could look over and see Kenma. Soft, solid, breathing– even and comforting. He could reach out and touch him, anchor himself to reality and let Kenma’s presence protect him. 

Kuroo needed them both to pretend so he could pretend that Kenma didn’t worry every time he had to leave for an overnight. He needed them both to pretend so _he_ could ignore the way Kenma’s hands trembled when he read news reports. He needed to go through with this so he might have the power to help when Kenma immediately searched for him every time he heard gunshots or sirens. 

A lot of people think their relationship is a one way street. Kuroo saved Kenma from a group of punks when they were kids, so of course it made sense that Kenma would stick with him. 

The reality is, Kuroo had stuck with Kenma. 

Kenma gave Kuroo a sense of peace, a calmness that he was unwilling to let go. Kuroo hung around Kenma like a watchful bodyguard, and in return Kenma always knew when Kuroo was being swallowed up by his anxieties– he would reach out and run his fingers through Kuroo’s hair, softly asking him what he thought about the latest game Kenma was playing, or what he wanted for dinner. They never talked about it outright. Talking about the nightmares would lead to talking about where Kuroo went when he left. That might lead to talking about feelings. Kuroo wasn’t ready. 

There were nights when their facade would break– Kenma would ask Kuroo not to go after he got a phone call, and Kuroo would comply. It’s impossible for him to say no to Kenma– he would make up an excuse, a lie, and the next time he’d be called to go out it would be even worse than before but he knew he’d make it through because he had to. He had to go home to Kenma and see his latest script, had to bleach his hair when the roots were too long, had to make sure he ate enough because he was convinced that Kenma would eat nothing but sugared apples if he were left to his own devices . 

There were also nights when Kuroo would come home, bleeding and bruised and broken, and Kenma would quietly ask him to stop, to leave– but Kuroo could not comply. He was doing the best for both of them, and he knew Kenma was aware of that; but on nights like these, he would look into Kenma’s eyes and find that single unspoken desire– that they both wished there was a better way. 

Then there were nights when neither of them could sleep, pretending it wasn’t nightmares that kept them awake but their interest in bad B Sci-fi films. They joked together about which of their friends would be what characters and pretended that their lives weren’t the way they were. They pretended that together they could be enough.

His favourite nights were the ones he got to spend with Kenma alone, legs tangled together as they leaned against the back of the couch, Kenma against Kuroo’s chest. Here Kuroo could rest his chin on Kenma’s head and watch as he played through one of his games- offering unhelpful commentary or advice and breathing in the smell of Kenma’s shampoo. Those moments were the most precious to him, they were the moments he thought of when it seemed like the world threatened to overwhelm them both. 

He started using Kenma’s shampoo as a mistake, but kept doing it when he realized that when things were tense and sweat pricked at his hairline he could smell Kenma and it grounded him. Kenma only commented once to complain that his shampoo was disappearing faster than usual and now Kuroo buys two bottles. 

Each time Kuroo wants to tell Kenma it’s the last time. Each time he wants it to be the last time. He knew it wasn’t, the path he started down was narrow and unending, the chances of leaving that path and living were slim to none. But he did it so he could protect Kenma. So no one could touch Kenma without answering to him. And as long as he could always return to Kenma, feel his hands card through his hair just one more time, it was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I really should be working on the bokuaka ///lays down
> 
> I'm sorry it's so short! I want to come back and expand on this au! But for now!!! This is what I have.
> 
> Kuroo's job was left intentionally vague.
> 
> Beta'd by Simple-symphonia and leninmeringpie


End file.
